A Day Older, A Day Wiser!

Celebrating my birthday in White !

Have you ever thought about why we even bother to celebrate birthdays? When you think about it, they’re really just an opportunity for your friends and family to come together and congratulate you for surviving another year.

Last Friday I turned 42, yes I am older than I look. Age is just a state of mind, and you are as old as you think you are. You have to count your blessings and be happy. I remember when I turned 30 I felt so old and thinking, I need to achieve more before my 40’s.  So here I am in my 40’s, I am still working on my dreams but I am happy. I am madly in love, my boy is doing great chasing his dreams and I am healthy and really happy! 

Since it was my birthday and  you all know how I love wearing whites this chic white dress from Fame and Partners was the perfect dress to wear to dinner and celebrate my birthday with my love and my friends at Pacific Rim , one of my favourite spots in Vancouver. Everything was wonderful as expected in a high star hotel. Since is located near our place, it was the best place to celebrate and have drinks after our dinner at the Blue Water Caffe. The whole night I felt like a princess 🙂 

Wearing: Fame and Partners – Dress | Zara – Shoes, old (similar here herehere ) | Celine – Sunglasses

SHOP THE LOOK

 

For this post I wanted to get more personal and share with you my story. Few months ago, I was approached to do a story about my life by a fellow blogger @silksofine who I met through the fashion community. I am glad I agreed to the interview about my journey from being a refugee to building a life in Canada. I am so touched that she found my story interesting and took her time to get to know me better before she published the story. I’m very thankful that I have met her through Instagram and I’m hoping to met her in person once I go back to Europe. PS I love her style. You can check her sophisticated style on her website: http://www.silksofine.com

Below is the interview that was published, i hope you find it inspiring.

Dear Aurela, firstly thank you so much for saying yes to this interview, it must be difficult to remember things that was hard to go through in your life. 

Where exactly are you from in Albania?

I grew up in a small town called Kote, part of Vlore city.

When and why did you leave your home country?

Growing up under communist regime made me the tough women I am today. I’m a child of communism, was raised there until I was 18. Life as a child was simple and no excess of luxury. At school we were taught to worship our communist leader Enver Hozha. Even after his death he continued to be gloried. Our classroom walls were decorated with quotes like “Religion is opium for the people” or “Glory to Marxism-Leninism”. 

I left Albania to be free, to not be brainwashed and forced into things I didn’t want to do. You were constantly watched every move you made, every word you said was monitored. I was a rebellious soul and always wanted to experience different things. Communism didn’t allow such a behaviour, we were dressed into uniforms, the house furniture was the same everything was the same unless you were a child of a politician. 

Life under Communism was not easy for my parents, they both worked so hard to support us. Life was tougher when communism collapsed. They both lost their jobs since everything was privatized. After the collapse, everybody was rebellious, angry and they didn’t know how to handle freedom. Lots of things went down and corruption started to happen. People would escape daily, and the one who had the power took advantage of the situation and got richer, while others were suffering to put food on the table.

I left soon after communism collapsed (1993) and our country became a democratic party.  The civil war happened after I left and seeing all the news back then was terrifying. The only thing that prepared me for the real world being raised in communism was the gender equality. All women worked and they were encouraged to have a career. I strongly believe that had it not been for the gender-equal communist society, I would not have had the confidence or the courage to get where I am today.. to have the guts to go back to school and have a career.

How old were you and what did you do back then in Albania?

I was 18 years old, I was finishing my 4th year of high school. Also I just got married, I should say it was a kind of arranged marriage, to someone who already escaped Albania 1990.

How did you escape and where did you go? Did you have any plans when you left your country?

I left Albania from my city to Lece, Italy illegally on a speed boat with other people who wanted to escape the country just like me. When we arrived to Italy we stayed for one week with no food, or water, outside, somewhere in a park, waiting for an other connection to pick us up and drop us at the train station. We took the train from Lece to Rome few days later without knowing where we were going and exhausted from being outside in the rain for many days. In Rome my husband was waiting for me to pick me up and we drove across the French border. Because I was illegal and my husband then had a German resident card he didn’t want to risk his situation so I took a train alone to cross the border. I had to hide underneath the seat or move from one washroom to another, when I spotted passport controller. I can’t really explain the situation as I am not able. It’s all a blur now, is been 23 years. I finally arrived in Germany, Osnabruck city to be exact. A month after my husband took me to a refugee camp to register me, as someone he didn’t know cause he didn’t want to risk his status for bringing an illegal person to Germany.

How was it in the refugee camps? What was it like to be a refugee?

Refugee camps differ from cities to cites and country to countries. I stayed temporarily in many of them, as refugees were transferred from one city to an other, until they found a permanent one. Some were lucky and were assigned an apartment paid by the government. Others, like me, were put in place called “Heim” which is a big house, where we had a common kitchen and bathrooms and each of us had their own rooms. The experience for me was awful for the fact that I was lost, so young and naive. Beside of a bit of Russian that I learned in school back home I did not know a word in English or in German.

I cried myself to sleep every night. I wasn’t able to communicate with my parents through phone calls as back then it was too expensive and also because I didn’t want to worry them. They were looking up to me, hoping that I would be able to help them. I exchanged long letters with my family and half of the time I lied about the situation. I told them that I felt great and Germany is an amazing country – which it wasn’t for me at that time.

Tell a little bit about your family situation back then!

We grew up in a very small town. My dad worked in farming driving a tractor and my mom was also a farmer all her life. I was the oldest out of five children they had. I would be always so frustrated with my parents for being so poor and not being able to do much growing up. When I decided to leave Albania helping out my parents was my first motivation before anything else. I wanted to go out there and hustle for my parents and my younger siblings. My parents were uneducated but good parents and seeing them struggle would break my heart on daily basis, so I promised myself that if I make it and survive the escape I would work so hard to help them out and make their life easier. I kept my promise, I saved all my welfare money I got and sent it to them each month. I would clean homes for cash or do labor work from dish washing to toilet cleaning, just so I could make extra cash for them.

When I became a mother my priorities of course changed. My son was my motivation and priority but still my parents were part of my dedication. Soon after, I helped my brother to escape the same way as me. I sent him money so he could pay the smugglers to take him across the ocean in Italy and made sure he had all the connections planned until he made it to Germany. I have only one brother and bringing him to Germany made it easier to help our parents together.

How did you end up in Canada? Did you know anyone there?

A friend of ours lived in Canada and he called my then husband and told him that Canada is the best place for immigrants. We were told that Canada approves all refugee cases and we would be able to become permanent residents. As soon as I heard that I wanted to go. I was tired living as a refugee with no status and not knowing what my future would be. Every day we were afraid that our time is up and we would be deported to Albania. I didn’t want to go back, especially when I had my son. We left Germany with fake Greek passports and thankfully we weren’t caught at the airport. That was my first time I have ever been on a flight and on top of it I was illegal. During the whole trip I was in panic that any minute they would find out who we really were and deport us back. When we landed in Vancouver we told the border immigration that we were illegal and seeking refugee status. They took us  temporarily to a refugee house.

Let me tell you that the difference between the refugee system between Europe and Canada was so different. A month after we have arrived there were told that we could find our apartment and if we wanted to go to school they are willing to pay for it. HOW AMAZING IS  THAT? I was in disbelief as being a refugee for over 5 years in Europe I never had the opportunity to do anything, work, school or planning any future. From that point I found a little apartment and signed myself right away for ESL classes to learn English. I was so happy and felt much safer. Actually I felt incredible, I left my husband and started living my dreams. Attended college, university, lived my life to the fullest. Although it was tough being a single mom I still didn’t mind it. In my head I was always a winner as I finally was a resident of a country and was able to achieve anything.

What do you like the most in your life right now?

Everything! My son being a great human being, considerate, ambitious, smart and dedicated to his dreams. All my hard work has paid off. All my siblings are doing fantastic living 3 of them in Germany and my baby sister in Toronto. I love that I am secure, confident and have achieved almost every goal I made for myself. I have a great career, I managed to buy my dream condo, I traveled the world, have a great circle of friends and I am in love to a wonderful man.

How did you start to build your career? Did you (do you) have a dream profession?

Waitressing was the only job I could land after graduating from college. Working as a waitress gave me opportunities to network and it worked. My regular customer who came to the restaurant on weekly basis offered to help me and submitted my resume at the company he was working at that time. They called me for an interview and I got hired on the spot. That was 11 years ago when I finally got an office job as a document controller for an engineering company. I was so happy and excited and in my mind that was just the beginning of my new professional career. While working at the company I convinced the management that I wanted to be a buyer instead and willing to take a part time program to help me achieve my goal. I started school again full time after my work, for about two years. It was so hard and challenging to juggle my full time job, being a single mom and working on my school assignment every night. After I graduated the program with a Supply Chain Management and became a certified buyer. I changed jobs/ companies for past 5 years and now somehow I ended up working as an Estimator / Buyer for a signage company.

My dream profession was and still is to be a fashion merchandiser. One day I will be either fashion merchandiser or own my business. Who knows, there is no limit.

…where there is a dream there is a way…

On your about page on your blog you say fashion is your passion. What does fashion mean to you?

Fashion to me is Art. Each of us have different personality, different style and thee way we dress determines our personality. I have been very passionate about fashion at young age. Back home I would dress all my sisters and then would ask them to do runway show in a living room. It was our playing time, we didn’t have toys or fashion magazines all I had was my imagination for each outfit I would create.

How did blogging come?

My blog was to fulfill my empty nest. I always wanted to have a fashion blog but never actually did until my son moved back east to attend University. My son would see me upset and cry each time we would chat on the phone and advised me to just launch a fashion blog. My baby sister, my son and my girlfriends encouraged me to start my blog since I was good with the fashion. In the begging it was just a hobby and escaping my emptiness. After I started dating my partner he offered to take my pictures and promised he would help me and support my dreams.

How do you picture yourself in 5 years from now?

First I want to be happy and healthy. My baby achieves his goals. I want to own my business, be married the man I love, see my son reach his dreams and planning on traveling the parts of the world I haven’t seen. And maybe one day I would be a fashion influencer where I can inspire as many women and show them that where there is a dream there is a way.

Thanks for reading!A big thank you goes to @maja_lotos for this photoshoot. Aurela x 

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Aurela lacaj

29 Comments

  1. Happy Belated Babe! You look amazing! I love this all white look, it’s so chic! Reading your story was so moving: I’m so happy you’re finally able to persure your dreams and follow your heart!

  2. Happiest birthday to you my gorgeous friend! I LOVED this post and knowing you just through Instagram I always had a sense that you were this amazing, hard working, and inspiring soul. This beautiful interview proves that and beyond. I cannot believe the struggles and hardships you have overcome from the communism, to being a single mom, to living as a refuge, conquering your fears and dreams at the same time…just WOW. You truly have lived an inspiring life at the young age of 42. Getting to know you and your background on a more personal level is amazing and I am in awe of you. Thank you for sharing this interview and your past with us. It has developed you into such an incredible person and you should share that always! I hope you had an amazing birthday and I look forward to getting to know you even better! xoxo, Christine
    http://dailykongfidence.com/

    • Aww you are so sweet Christine, so happy I have connected with so many amazing women such as yourself. Thank you for your kind words!
      Aurela xoxo

  3. woowwww!!! these answers are so so inspiring!
    You are a great example to others! Could you tell us how you care about your skin and hair? (look so perfect)

  4. First, happy birthday! You look so so beautiful in this all white outfit. Like you said, like a princess. And I want to also congratulate you on your life journey with the the success of your blog, your son’s achievements and having the love of your life. We cannot skip the part that you are 42 and look incredible as well. I’m so glad to have connected with you through the blogging community. Your story is so inspiring and I cannot wait to see what 42 will bring for you!
    xoxo,

    -Lily from With Love Lily Rose

    • Thank you Lily, you are so sweet! Much appreciated!
      Aurela xoxo

  5. Hope you have had the most incredible birthday lovely!!

    42 and absolutely stunning as ever 👌🏾

    You have so much to be proud of and what you have achieved through life. Here’s to many more years of your best life ❤️

  6. Wow. First of all Happy Birthday !!! I hope you truly had a beautiful and amazing birthday because you surely deserve it. This outfit is completely phenomenal and your story and interview is completely inspiring!

  7. Happy belated Birthday Aurela!! This story puts me to tears!! I am so moved by your determination and dedication and your will to not give up no matter how tough the situation in life is. You look amazing for 42, I couldn’t even tell your age as you are always so poised and graceful and your sense of style and visual aesthetics is on point. When people complain about how hard their day and their life is, it cannot even compare to what you have gone through so I really want to congratulate you for everything you fought for and earned. Bravo babe and I can’t wait to get to know you more and connect with you.

    xo Sheree
    PoshClassyMom.com

  8. Happy Birthday dear! And first of all I can’t believe you are 42! It is insane, you look much younger, you look amazing. Second, thank you for sharing your story with us. It is such a powerful and inspirational story. I was so close to cry while I was reading how you left your home country. You are so strong and positive woman, wish you all the best!

    http://lanaluu.com

  9. I truly love this post! I got so emotional half way reading it. Thanks for sharing so many personal experiences and life time story with us. I had no idea you spent so long in the refugee camps. I was totally impressed by how you worked your way up to get your buyer certificate from a waitress job. No mention you had schooling as a single woman and day time job. You are so right girl, there is a dream, there is a way! I have to say, my life has been very smooth all my life and I have experienced no real toughness. Not sure how I will cope when my sky falls down, but you are definitely my role model and some one I look up to. Stay strong and dream big!

    Last not the least, happy birthday girl! you totally deserve the celebration!

    xx, Jessie
    http://4evajessie.com/ocd-restaurant-telaviv/

  10. I want to wish you a belated happy birthday! You have definitely accomplished so much in the face of these challenges. Hope you continue inspiring others and accomplishing more in life. Xo, Jessica

  11. Happy birthday girlfriend! And literally same. I’m like why even celebrate a birthday but it’s to celebrate you! You do not look 40 but I didn’t need to tell you that cause you knew that already. That white dress is so classy! I am absolutely in love. Love that you shared your journey and that interview. I had a friend when I was younger who was from Albania. Had no idea of all this back history. Thanks for sharing.

  12. Wow, what an amazing story. I can’t even imagine the hardships you must’ve faced while escaping, the amount the stress must’ve been so difficult. Not to mention, you were raising a son. You’re so brave to share your history and I’m so glad you did, because as human beings we need to take care of refugees. Thank you for sharing.

    xoxo,
    Maggie S.

  13. Happy belated birthday! I cannot believe you are 42?! I thought you were in your late 20’s. You look amazing! As you said, age is just a number and with age comes wisdom. I loved reading your interview! You are so brave and admirable for leaving Albania at such a young age. I know your journey to Canada took a lot of strength and determination. I always love hearing peoples stories.

    Thank you for sharing!
    XO
    Tandya
    http://www.simplytandya.com

  14. I can’t believe you’re in your 40s you look amazing
    I wish I will look this good when I’m in my 40s.
    I loved hearing your interview and what an amazing story you have been through so much you could write a book ,you’re such a strong beautiful intelligent woman and thank you for sharing such a personal story
    My parents escaped communism in Poland in and I was born in a refugee camp in Austria as they were escaping to Australia.I know you will relise your dreams because look at how far you have come already !
    Xo
    Natalia k

  15. Hey Love,
    Hows you?
    Happy Birthday Sweetheart, you Look Amazing in White and that Dress is the Most Gorgeous one that I have ever seen:)
    And Woow, you look much much younger:)
    Happy to read your Honest Thoughts:)
    Love sooo much this post:)
    Wish you All The Best:)
    Love and Happy Week
    Open Kloset By Karina

  16. First of all, happy birthday! I hope you enjoyed your special day. This post is wonderful. You look stunning for your age. I really have to admire your gorgeous outfit. That dress looks so cute on you. I love the way you paired it with those white heels. Also really love your bracelet. Adds some shine to the outfit. This is such an inspiring post and you are such an inspiring woman. Because even though you have gone through some hard times you always know how to get back up and keep smiling. Thank you so much for sharing this wonderful post. I really enjoyed reading it<3

    Vanessa, xo!
    http://thefashionstatement.net

  17. Happy birthday! I’m just one year ahead of you at 43 as of this week. You do look younger than 42. It’s funny, it’s easy to share your age when you know you look good LOL. Loving your white birthday dress! And wow – sounds like you’ve lived quite the life! From arranged marriages, to escaping countries, to being a young single mother. I can’t even imagine having a grown up child! My kids are all still little. I think it’s amazing that you are living your dream – congrats and happy birthday again!
    XO
    http://www.lehoarder.com/

  18. First, happy belated birthday! You look stunning in white. Secondly, I think you are such a strong woman. Your personal story made me learn so much about you and what you have dealt with to get to this point in your life. I applaud your beauty inside and out. xo, Jessica

  19. First of all a belated birthday wish to you and you truly did look like a princess wearing all white! This story was so interesting to read and I’m actually ashamed I’m so ignorant as I’m nearly your age (36 and look a lot younger too), but had no idea there even was a civil war in Albania. It must have all gone into that blur of the Soviet Union collapsing and so many new countries emerging, but then again, Albania was never a satellite state that I know? Correct me if I’m wrong. This interview gave me so much insight not only about recent European history which should be very familiar to me (being Swedish) as well as the situation of a refugee. Hiding in those washrooms and not knowing if you’d even get on the plane with the Greek passports must have been excruciating experiences and I am so happy to hear about how refugees are welcomed in Canada as I know that here in Europe you have to wait up to many years to be able to do anything, even study. I’m glad you have an amazing life right now and I couldn’t be happier for you! I’m so glad you shared this very important and personal story of yours which moved me to tears.
    Love,
    Thomas

  20. First, Happy Belated Birthday! There is no way you are 42! You look so amazing! Secondly, your story really touched me. I can’t believe all that you went through, but I know for sure it made you stronger in the end. Women like you inspire me to never give up and that nothing can stop you! Thank you so much for sharing your story, you are a truly amazing person! 🙂

  21. Happy birthday gorgeous!!! You don’t even look a day over 35!! U have to share you beautiful regime and secrets.
    I really enjoyed reading this post as I have been following your blog for a while but never really knew about you and your life until this post. It was so heartfelt and shows so much for your strong character and resilience through the tough years and the turmoils you have been through. I am so Glad you found your way to Canada through perserverance and that you’re comfortably settled there to focus on yourself and also your future business plans! All the best!
    Xo,
    Everest
    http://www.everestsays.com

  22. Happy birthday my beautiful friend! Thank you so much for sharing your incredible and inspirational story with us. You must be so proud of all you have accomplished, and there’s no doubt in my mind that you will achieve every single goal you set out to achieve. Wishing you all the best this year you amazing woman!

    • Thank you so much.
      Yes, I am older than I look 🙂 Happy Monday!
      Love Aurela

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